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Friday, December 18, 2009

The Guild Poetry Contest


Wow.. so many great entries... Because we got so many I'm going to break this up into Limerick, Poems and Haiku's. Please read them all and then vote for your favorite in each category.

Voting will be open until December 24th Midnight PST

EDIT**** I just realized that I have TWO #5 Poems and I can't alter the poll. So I'm going to relabel them as 5.1 and 5.2 and in the comment section specify which one you are voting for.

Haiku: 1
my dear sid sherman.
You are still my main quest line.
From your love, zaboo.
Haiku: 2
my stalker, zaboo.
Still a starting character.
Get lost, from codex.
Haiku: 3
Sweet tinkerbella.
I bought you all of this crap.
Why won't you put out?
Haiku: 4
Oh my foolish bladez.
You're never going to learn.
I played you, love tink.
Haiku: 5
I dream of one thing.
A frozen yogurt maker.
May i have yours, sid?
Haiku: 6
Vork will have to die.
That damn orb should have been mine.
Beware teets4tots.
Haiku: 7
Vork screwed up big time.
He gave the guild bank to bladez.
What a stupid move.
Haiku: 8
What have i done now?
This guy is a pro stunt man?
I'm going to die.
Haiku: 9
The guild united!
Zaboo's mom is defeated!
All is looking up.
Haiku: 10
The winter chills bones
Cold air whips at their noses
Lost without The Guild
Haiku: 11
The game expansion!
We all wait in line for it.
But who are these rogues?
Haiku: 12
Alas i am sad.
I've only seen two seasons.
Need third on youtube.
Haiku: 13
My chance is ruined.
Someone else was at his place.
Stupid tall hot girl.
Haiku: 14
You can’t live with them
They will not go out with me
I shall wield the glove
Haiku: 15
Anarchists sleek empty
Zaboo ravages, screeching
Guildies muttering
Haiku: 16
Rule eighteen, Codex
No crying over voice chat
Mute mic, cry alone
Haiku: 17
Dragonor awaits
Unknown enemies abound
The Guild must prepare
Haiku: 18
Kenny and Jenni
Deliver us fun Guild stuff
I am not worthy
Haiku: 19
Codex went crazy
Talked to her avatar
Kicked Wheaton's Ass
Haiku: 20
Priest with horrible
self confidence kills rival
leader. Then beds him.

Limerick: 1
Ode to Codex
There was a woman so skilled,
She lost herself in a guild.
Her addiction online,
Caused a vlog opine,
And millions of fans were thrilled!
Limerick: 2
There was a warlock, Zaboo,
Who wrote the following Haiku:
"I really love Cyd
I'm kind of obsessed'd
What's a gnome to do?"
Limerick: 3
I can't write in Haiku
It reminds me of poo
When Codex speaks
My brain leaks
My dog likes Zaboo
Limerick: 4
There once was a girl named Felicia
Who said to the Man "I beseech ya"
"Please make my Guild show"
He scoffed and said "No"
She laughed "there a Net so who needs ya"
Limerick: 5
The Knights of Good Stand Strong
Together they do no wrong
Regardless of the fact
That they must have a computer to act
Anarchy is no longer strong
Limerick: 6
The Guild once a week what a treat
There's never been a show so sweet
But when I discovered
Season 3 is now over
I sat on my bed and I weeped
Limerick: 7
Codex has broken my heart
How could she be such a fart
She rested her head
With Fawkes in her bed
Does this mean that Wil has a part
Limerick: 8
An idea, like a squirrel, must be fed
This idea almost found itself dead
But as fans of it know
The Guild's a great show
That escaped from Felicia Day's head
Limerick: 9
The Knights of Good Charter contains
So many rules it melts brains
But as Vork's quick to say
The ancients sketched their rules in clay
I bet clay never gave them head pains
Limerick: 10
Codex, Vork, Zaboo, Bladezz, Clara, Tink...
Each possesses a fight skill unique.
Together they do join,
Kicking trolls in the groin,
Without their antics my week would stink!

Poem: 1
There is a story I’d like to share
Gamers, nerds, and dorks beware

It is one you’d never think
When real lives and game lives; together they link

Hopefully it is understood,
we are speaking of the knights of good

We know Codex as the prized priest
In real life she has no confidence, none in the least

Then we have Bladezz the infamous Rogue
Who knew in real life he could pose for Vogue?

Tink The Ranger, though if you mess with her your life will surely be in danger

Zaboo the warlock who when with Riley ignored his heart and followed his …

Vork the fighter and the leader, he lives his life cheaper and cheaper

And of course how can we forgot Clare the mage
who when not gaming has a furious rage

And that my friends is a lesson to tell
When real life and game life clash it all turns to hell

Poem: 2
Dragonor Isle (sung to the tune of Gilligan's Isle)

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale
A tale of a fateful quest
Within a new expansion pack
They said would be the best.

That Vork is a mighty fighting man
The healer quick with aid
Six guildies all log on one day
For a three hour raid, a three hour raid.

The game lag started getting rough
The group was nearly tossed
If not for the speed of a stolen LAN
The quest line would be lost, the quest line would be lost.

Their mounts set ground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle
With Codex here
And Zaboo, too
The dashing Rogue (and his Sis)
The mighty Vork
Tinkerballa and Clara, too
Here on Dragonor Isle.

So this is the tale of the Knights Of Good
They're here for a long, long time
They'll have to quest for many days
And spend their every dime.

Codex, Vork, and all the rest
Will do their very best
To help the n00bies level up
On the 'Tropic Island' quest.

No loot, no mobs, no vender trash
Not a single PVP
'Cause this is just the starting zone
As harmless as can be.

So join us here each day my friends
You're sure to get a smile
By raiding with the Knights Of Good
Here on Dragonor Isle.

Poem: 3
Boss’ Lament

I came across a frost mage; Clara was her name.
She was loaded down with potions; ready to vanquish and maim.

Her companion then was roguish Bladezz, with his twin daggers drawn.
He rolled his eyes at me, unimpressed, he gave a bored yawn.

Their leader Vork stood with them, his broadsword held aloft.
He stood ready to attack if I so much as coughed.

Then I saw the warlock Zaboo ready with spells to deceive and confuse.
Confronted with such a powerful bunch, would I be the one to lose?

I let loose a fiery bellow, hoping to land a massive crit.
But then Codex the priest healed them- crap, now I’m definitely going to take a hit!

So I turned tail and ran, into the valley below
When suddenly a ranger’s arrow pinned me – I had nowhere left to go.

I looked up and faced the Knights of Good, frightened to the core.
I looked to Tink for pity; all I got was “QQ more.”


And so the battle finished, with one final blow.
Never go up against the Knights of Good- this every boss should know!

Poem: 4
There once was this really cool guild
Of which six members did build
They attempted real life
With much woe and strife
Now it’s a test to see if their skilled!

First there was Vork from which leadership grew
Although it was clear he often had no clue
Spreadsheets he creates
And hoardings a trait
For such eating as found item stew

Tinkerballa was the sass of the group
To low levels she often did stoop
Her DS she does play
Ugly Betty’s life she did portray
And for a while Bladezz she did dupe.

Onto Bladezz, the next in the gang,
He got his revenge on Tink with a bang!
As Finn Smoulders he posed,
Which was quickly disclosed.
And has a sister Dena who just likes to hang.

Clara is a mother of three
Of which she doesn’t accept with much Glee
She enjoys getting drunk
And at marriage she stunk
And Mr. Wiggles would quite agree

Zaboo is quite a strange dude
And his jokes are often quite crude
Riley he dated.
Although his ego deflated
His social skills were also quite skewed

Codex is the last of this lot
And nerds often find her quite hot
Violin she does play
And Axis’s Fawkes she did slay.
And often she is quite distraught.

The Guild is a real epic show
And our love will only just grow
So let’s spread Guildie cheer!
And keep it going all year
Because this is a show everybody should know!

Poem: 5.1 (if you vote for this one pls make a note in comments)
the guildies are coming,that just a fact
Zaboo and Vork where on the attack
Tinkerballa launched arrows at the enemy's backs
while Bladezz was looting dead enemy's packs
beautiful codex buffed the pack
while spell caster Clara charged an attack
enemy's beware the knight of good are back

Poem: 5.2
(if you vote for this one pls make a note in comments)
"The Guild - Season 3"

The Guild Season 3 antics
what fun times to behold.
No matter how often I see them
they never grow old.

A new group arrives
and fractures the guild.
But our heroes reunite
and old bonds are healed.

Through new challenges encoutnered
we see the guild victorious.
Cid finally becomes confident.
Her defeat of Fawkes, glorious.

The Cid and Fawkes cliffhanger;
is surely a tease for more.
We wait for more great times
from The Guild Season 4.

Poem: 6
Clothed all in leather and metal and fur,
They play as the people they wish that they were.
Agoraphobes, stalkers, they leave on the shelf
The parts that they hate the most of themself
To be ranger, or fighter, hunter or priest -
They turn up and log on and unleash the beast!
A guild full of losers, a dozen false starts,
But the whole far surpasses the sum of its parts.

The Knights of Good, going forward as one -
For gold and for glory - but mostly for fun.

Poem: 7
Slayers of dragons,
Adventuring into the unknown,
Excuses of lagging,
Fighting enemies in dungeons and snow,
Watching the guild is the way to go!

Poem: 8
I wandered lonely as a gnome
Who in everything was unskilled,
When from the comfort of my home
I saw a tweet about The Guild.

A web-show 'bout a gaming clan
Streamed free, a price I favoured most,
To my room I swiftly ran
As xbox live were now their host.

Series 1 and 2 were there to see
And Comicon had just occured,
I watched the shows with utter glee
And thanked my stars that I had heard.

The show itself was epic win
And to the forums I did go,
I smiled a massive cheesy grin
A rival guild was rumoured, Whoa!

The 3rd series it came and went
The swiftest dozen weeks we saw,
But unfortunately this now meant
Our new Guild Tuesdays were no more.

By this time I now fully knew
The show helped bring us all together,
Around which a community grew
Our bonds as tough as seasoned leather.

This family of friends and fans
Were warm and really welcoming,
The nicest peeps in all the lands
For you they would do anything.

The fans are not the only part
Who play the game and tweet a lot,
The stars themselves are full of heart
The best the internet has got.

Their time for fans and openness
Their dedication to the cause,
Our lucky stars we do bless
Their epic work behind closed doors.

The fans and stars are not the whole
That makes The Guild our greatest treat,
The superb crew help reach the goal
Of giving us this web-based feat.

Mention goes to Knights of the Guild
Their podcast keeps our sanity,
Between the shows we are kept thrilled
A credit to humanity.

So as a fan I'd like to say
The Guild is truly great
My love for you will always stay
At least til series 8!


  1. Wow! What a great response! Although with so many entries you might need to do more than one round of voting.

  2. Very exciting :D It was hard to pick a Haiku!